Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
