She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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