nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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