OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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