your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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