when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
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He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
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At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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