Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
tequila makes me forget i have legs
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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