why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
