we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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