I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
