Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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