I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I need moral support for this bender
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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