so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
