Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
babies were throwing up all over the place
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
