they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I want her autograph on my taint
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
