They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
