I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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