All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize