There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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