I feel great
I just peed on a car
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
