her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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