And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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