I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
