i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize