the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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