the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My pussy is not your playground.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
