I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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