Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
