she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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