Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
