He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
