Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I don't think brook has ever known best
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Randomize
