i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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