There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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