I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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