I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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