So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
