I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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