as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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