It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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