try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
