kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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