I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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