you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
