escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
