Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
