I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
