How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
