Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
