So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
