Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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