I wish I only lived at night.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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