It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
