dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
