Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
