fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
"it" just moved
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
