Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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