This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
