who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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