called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
