White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
