idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
