people are starting to question the shark bite story
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Text me some of your sweat
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
