Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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