Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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