I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
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i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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