I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
